Empty

In a word, how does it feel to be boarding a plane tonight to move our family to Thailand? Empty.

I remember in Fall 2008 walking around Bed, Bath, and Beyond with my Michael by my side and a wedding registry gun in hand. The moment we saw the white dishes with little red berries, we both loved them and "beep" they were on our registry. We've loved that dish set ever since. It's now all packed up and stored away. We'll be getting new dishes in Thailand.

I remember graduating from college and getting a new, used Corolla. We named her "Shwewbwy" (don't ask). Six years after graduation, Michael very nervously drove Grace home from the hospital in that car while I sat in back with her. Then, 18 months later, he much less nervously drove Cora home from the hospital while I sat in front with him. We sold that car to a friend.

Dishes, car... we're also giving up our home, our furniture, our church, most of our books, our neighborhood, our favorite parks and playgrounds, etc.

And then there are the people. In December, I said goodbye to my siblings and my three year old niece who will be five next time I see her. On Monday, I said goodbye to my mom. Yesterday, I said goodbye to my dad.

Tonight, when we board the plane, we say goodbye to the English language and U.S. culture.

Empty. I've given up almost everything.

Emptiness has such a negative connotation, which it deserves because it involves a lot of stress and strain and grief and sadness.

But, for the follower of Jesus, emptiness is a place of expectation and assurance. It's only when a seed falls to the ground and dies that it can grow. When we lose life, we find Life. When we give up home and family for the sake of the gospel, we get those things back x100 in this life.

Someday, I'll look back and see how this emptying of almost everything I've got cleared the space and paved the way for new Kingdom of God things to fill their place. I have no idea how or when this is going to happen, but I can't wait to look back and be amazed!