Unplug

"I am noticing that the more I fill my life with the convenience of technology, the emptier I become in the places of my deepest longing.

"I long for the beauty and substance of being in the presence of those I love, even though it is less convenient. 

"I long for spacious, thoughtful conversation even though it is less efficient. I long to be connected with my authentic self, even though it means being inaccessible to others at times.

"I long to be one who waits and listens deeply for the still, small voice of God, even if it means I must unplug from technology in order to become quiet enough to hear." 

~ Ruth Haley Barton "Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation"


I'm always learning and re-learning this one. You too?

May God form us into people who are strangely forgetful of our devices and who are present to our spouses, our children, our friends, our work, our passions & longings, and the still small voice of God.

Amen.

These Are the Days Of

I have a habit of always looking ahead and asking, "What's next?" I often think things like, "Once my kids are in school, my life will begin." Or, "Once I am conversational in Thai, I will have arrived."

I forget that there is never a point when "real" life begins or a point where I've "made it." I forget to recognize the small things (good things, great things, and hard things) in my everyday life.

When I notice myself straining ahead to the future, I stop, grab a pen and journal, and make a "These Are the Days Of" list to draw me back into life as it is. Here's today's list:

These Are the Days Of...

My entire life lived in a compact corner of a city. Within about five to ten minutes, I can walk from home to:

• Work
• The coffee shop where I meet up with my Thai tutor
• Dozens of food, drink, and dessert vendors
• Two pharmacies
• A veggie market
• A fruit market
• Two convenience stores
• Two 20 baht stores (the equivalent of the American dollar store, except everything is 50 cents)
• A car mechanic
• Two hair salons
• My daughter's preschool

As we go about the same stalls and markets and greet familiar faces day after day, I begin to feel like I live in a village, not a large, crowded city.

Noticing fine lines around my eyes and on my forehead. In ten years, I'll probably look back on photos of myself and think, "Darling, that was NOTHING!"

Learning to split things 50/50. As we pursued moving to Thailand, the thought of being a monolingual, stay-at-home expat mom/wife made me die inside. So, my husband and I decided to spend equal time studying Thai our first twelve months or so. Splitting our language learning, childcare, chores, etc. roughly equally is a crazy juggling act, but it's worth it.

Feeling weary every evening from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. Immersion in a new culture, learning a new language, taking care of little kids, walking everywhere in crummy sandals…each of these things alone is enough to make a lady tired. Taken together, I find myself weary by the end of the day every day.

Eating fruit all day, every day. Miniature bananas, sweet pineapple, crispy rose apples, fragrant mangoes. Still haven't tried durian.

Learning patience. I wish I could become instantly conversational in Thai. Learning a new language just a few new sentence structures and a few new vocab words at a time is slow, hard work. Like raising children. Like building a lasting marriage. Like anything worthwhile.

Eating out daily. In the U.S. my family went weeks without eating out because it was too dang expensive. Now, we eat out every day because it's affordable and delicious. For example: a large, grilled, salt-encrusted, lemongrass stuffed fish with brown rice and veggie soup costs about $5. It feeds our whole family. It's one of the more expensive meals we buy. This is one of the huge perks of life in Bangkok.

Living in a dirty home. In the middle of all this, the last thing Michael and I ever want to do is clean. Our house is usually dirty. Especially the kitchen floor. Yuck. Note to self: look into how much it would cost to hire someone to clean the house for us.

~ The idea of making a "these are the days of..." list came from Emily Freeman's book, Simply Tuesday.

Happy 30th to Michael

When Michael went to his macho, Italian barber for a much-needed hair cut a couple of weeks ago, the first question the barber asked was, "So, how's school?" As in high school. 

Michael answered, "Oh I'm not in school anymore." As in he graduated from high school twelve years ago.

This week at the DMV in the middle of a conversation with the DMV employee, Michael said, "Oh ya, my wife and I..."

"You have a wife?! You look way to young to be married." If only she knew that he has been married for six years and has two kids.

These comments are nothing new. All through his five years of working at the Claremont Colleges, strangers assumed he was a prospective student. Aka, a junior or senior in high school.

So here's a little public service announcement for all macho, Italian barbers; DMV employees; and other strangers...

Today is Michael's 30th birthday.

Thank you.

High school Michael and two weeks ago Michael. See? He doesn't look like a teenager.

It's mostly funny but also slightly annoying to have people think your husband is a teenager. But, I suppose in 10 or 20 years when people think he's 30, I'll be proud of my husband's youthful good looks.

But, seriously now, happy 30th birthday, Michael! Ten years ago, we were living in the same dorm at USC and I had a major crush on you and you had a major crush on me and everyone knew it except you. Now here we are ten years later -- married with two little girls; two college degrees, a law degree, and a couple of jobs behind us; and a big cross-cultural move before us.

You are the kind of husband and father who will always lay aside his work or his phone to listen to my stories, help Grace deal with her big emotions, or read Cora's favorite book with her for the 72nd time. And that's a really good husband/father to be. The three of us are so blessed!

What are the next ten years going to bring? What will we look back on together when we turn forty?! I look forward to the next decade with wide eyes and a pounding heart grateful to have your hand squeezing mine.

Now go get some eye wrinkles so people don't start thinking you're my son!

Thailand - A Timeline

If you observed our lives from afar, it would appear that we decided to move to Thailand a few months ago and... zip, zap, zoop... here we are well on our way to moving across the Pacific Ocean.

This perspective is entirely incorrect. Below is a bare bones outline of the years we have spent planning this big move. It's still way oversimplified, but it gives you an idea of the time and intentionality it is taking to move our family to another country.

1980s I am born to missionary parents. Nature? Nurture? I don't know what to blame it on, but I grow up loving missions and anything cross-cultural.

2007 I find myself head over heels for a young man who has never really thought about those things. Me, "Hey love, I need to know: Are you open to doing missions someday? Because if not, we need to talk."
Michael thinks for a couple of days.
"Yes, I am open."
Me, "Ok, great."
(Fun fact: around this time, Michael was really into puns and I hated puns. Now, eight years later, I almost titled this post "Thaimline." I still hate puns. I just now join in creating those hideous things.)

2009 We tie the knot.

January 2012 Vacation to Thailand to visit Michael's mom's family and to do the touristy thing.

January 2013 I am seven months pregnant and Michael goes out of town for a couple of weeks to attend a missions conference with his students. I feel a little bored/unsettled with life and I ask God, "Shake things up. DO something." Michael calls me from St. Louis, "Hey love, wouldn't it be awesome to transplant our family to Thailand?" I hadn't thought much about missions for a few years and I feel a little unsure, but the underlying desire is still there and I respond, "Yes."

February 2013 Grace is born. We are slammed with unfathomable amounts of exhaustion and joy. Thailand, hold on a minute.

June 2013 We think, pray, talk to a few trusted people and decide, yes, we want to pursue this Thailand thing. And begin researching and networking to figure out what we might possibly do.

June 2014 Trip to Bangkok to check out some awesome potential orgs to partner with.

July 2014 I quit working a normal job so I can focus on home, kids, and getting us to Thailand.

September 2014 Hello, baby Cora!

December 2014/January 2015 Acceptance into our missions organization, begin fundraising.

Summer 2015 Michael's work with Intervarsity ends and we begin full time employment with our missions organization. We attend a training in Colorado.

September 2015 Fully funded.

Fall/Winter 2015 Get rid of lots of stuff, complete required readings, last visits with family and friends.

January 2016 Adventure begins.

There you have it. By my calculations we've been working on getting our family to Thailand for almost three years.

Six Things I Learned This Summer

How to make cheese. In Thailand, cheese is nonexistent or super expensive. Since we will soon be living there and since I already know how to make yogurt (the first step in cheesemaking), I've been wanting to learn how to make cheese. In July, my brother, who is probably the best cook I know, taught me how to make queso fresco. Now, I've just got to try making it once or twice on my own.

How to shoot a gun. My brother-in-law is a little bit hick (love you, Jason!), so this summer, when he offered to teach me how to shoot, I jumped at the chance. Jason, a few other family members, and I all went into the woods in Colorado and shot clay pigeons. I nailed a few which made me feel proud. But, then again, most were only about 15 feet away.

The origins of see-saw. Just a board across a gate. Brilliant. (The image below comes from Over the Hills and Far Away" a collection of nursery rhymes from around the world illustrated by dozens of the best children's illustrators of our day. It's one of the most beautiful children's books I've ever seen.)

I love watercolor paintings. When I see something like this painting or this blog header, I feel inspired.

The potty-train-your-kid-in-one-weekend method does not work for my toddler. Grace needs lots of time and lots of space to process any sort of transition, so what made me think she'd transition from diapers to undies in one weekend? Potty training involved one false start, lots of patience from me, and lots of unpleasant odors on our carpet. But, she's now rocking it.

My husband always teases me for being such an independent woman. And, he's right, I am. But, when it comes to anything techie/geeky/nerdy, Michael is the knight in shining armor rescuing this damsel in distress.

Andrea and Jason's Wedding

Last Friday, my little sister got married.

Andrea cleaned up into the most beautiful, radiant bride. Jason was the most smiley, smitten groom. I got to be the maid of honor and Grace and her 22-month-old cousin, Lilianna, were flower girls. Aside from Grace tripping and crying in the middle of the aisle (poor thing!), the day was practically perfect. And the moments where they pledged themselves to each other for the rest of their lives couldn't have been any more joyful.

Here's Jason's expression as Andrea appeared at the top of the aisle. He's so happy it looks like it hurts!

All of these pictures were taken by my friend, Andrea Wallace. This was the first wedding she's ever shot. She did an amazing job.

Andrea and Jason's Engagement Pictures

I got to do my first engagement photo shoot yesterday! Andrea is my sister, Jason is my soon-to-be brother, and together they make one hilarious and ridiculously in love couple. We had a really fun time being creative and goofy together to get these shots.

Sexy, Andrea. Sexy.

I think we laughed for ten minutes straight when we saw this shot.

What happened when the door was finally closed? The world may never know.

Experimenting...

Happy engagement, you two!

Five Years

Our anniversary is in just a few days. After five years of marriage, all I can say is this:

It is so good to be known, accepted, and loved.

It gives me a whiff, a sound byte, a peak into how I am fully known, fully accepted, and fully loved by Jesus.

Obsolete

"Who is going to, at the end of the day, look at me as my face gets older, as I age, as my body ages, and as I become obsolete? ... My husband and my children, the people that I've really connected with are going to still hold my face and look at me and see me."

~ Sara Groves commenting on the song Obsolete from her album Invisible Empires

Playtime

Having fun with the kid. :-)

The way she tracks my emotions so closely in this clip is amusing, though a bit frightening!

First Father's Day

This evening, I went with Michael, Grace, and my in laws to a delicious local burgers & beer place to celebrate Father's Day. Grace was a trooper hanging in with us even though she was sleepy.

Happy First Father's Day, Michael. When we got married, I had a strong suspicion that you would make a fantastic dad someday. I was right! It is such a joy to watch Grace wrap you around her little finger. I am so grateful that she has you as her first model of the love of her heavenly Daddy. What a great place to start!

Babymoon

Michael and I got to spend four days on a Babymoon in Cambria, CA.

Here are three of my favorite memories from the trip in order from most pleasant to most disturbing.

1. We stayed at a bed and breakfast run by a single woman in her 70s. She began her B&B orientation with an almost five minute explanation of what the four light switches by the front door did. She also made sure to tell us that the heater had to be turned to "on" to work. When she began her long explanation of how to connect to the internet, I thought I was going to bust up laughing.

This old woman made us yogurt and muffins every morning for breakfast. Our little weekend home was completely decked out in a birds, eggs, and nests theme. Michael and I decided to count all the birds and all the eggs.

Michael's guess: 35 eggs and 50 birds

Christie's guess: 10 eggs and 100 birds

We were woefully short of reality.

Final count: 133 eggs and 155 birds

Our sweet hostess sent me home with a handmade nest with a little egg in it. She said it was symbolic of our little one on the way. :-)


2. We wanted to visit Hearst Castle, but we were worried that the tour might be a little too much time on my feet for my wimpy back and hips. When we asked the older woman at the ticket booth which tour to take, she took one look at my swollen abdomen and told me to go on the accessible tour!

I gave in and toured Hearst Castle in a wheelchair! Let's just say that when the tour guides weren't around, Michael spun me around and wheeled me into plants.

3. We were fortunate enough to be at California's central coast during elephant seal birthing, nursing, and mating season. The baby seals were pretty cute, but the female seals were too huge to be cute, the males were straight up ugly, and when the mating happened, it was both horrific and hilarious at the same time.

I made the picture below small so that if you don't want to see elephant seals getting it on, you don't have to. If you're like me and you think it's funny, click on the picture. Let me just warn you again that it's a bit disturbing.

Baby on the Way!

Michael and I are going to be parents! I am several days into my second trimester, and we'll be welcoming this little one into our family sometime in March!

I know these ultrasounds often look like a whole lot of nothing, so in case you can't see it, baby's head is on the right looking toward the top left corner. It looks like something is growing out of the forehead. That's the hand. During the ultrasound our baby was moving it around, which Michael and I both thought was the most thrilling and adorable thing ever. You can see the body below its head and its skinny little left arm. I promise the baby has legs. They just didn't make it into this shot!

I can't even begin to sum up the experiences and emotions we've had since finding out that I was pregnant on July fourth. So I'll just mention a few things.

• First of all, it is really strange and really amazing to know that I am growing a human being inside of me, and that kid is part Asian! Michael and I think I look pregnant, but to the average person, I probably look like I've just gained some weight. I am really looking forward to getting a cute little bump, then a big bump, then a huge bump, and then rocking the about-to-burst bump.
• Pregnancy sickness. Holy cow. It is no joke, and I didn't get it even close to as bad as some women do. I had no cravings but quite a few days where I was averse to every kind of food. I couldn't even look at our garden knowing that food came out of it. I wrote about my bar exam experience, but did not mention that a huge part of the experience was being seven weeks pregnant at the time and praying along with several other people that I wouldn't feel horribly ill during the test. Given that even without pregnancy that awful test alone is enough to make you nauseous, I consider it a mini miracle that I didn't have a single moment of nausea during the three day exam!
• Fatigue. Holy cow. It is no joke. I normally sleep about nine hours a night. When the fatigue set in, I slept about nine to eleven hours per night and would often take twenty minute to two hour naps to get me through the day. And I was still exhausted all the time. When I wrote that "we" moved, I really meant "Michael moved us." Shout out to my husband for doing 90% of the work without complaining at all. Fortunately, the nausea is almost gone, the fatigue is waning, and they've been replaced with an enormous appetite!
• Joy! Holy cow. The joy is no joke! Even in the throes of first trimester nausea and/or fatigue, there were moments where I just smiled to myself because I was so stinkin' happy to know that my child was growing inside of me! Every week, Michael and I have read about our baby's march through the produce section from blueberry sized, to raspberry sized, to prune sized, to lime sized, etc. (It's now bigger than a peach!) My favorite little baby development updates were ones like "Your baby's ears have moved from its neck to its head" (my baby's EARS were on its NECK?!?), or this week's "Your baby's intestines, which have been growing inside the umbilical cord (exCUSE me?), are now starting their trek to their permanent position in your baby's abdomen. (crazy!)"

I am sure there will be much, much more to enjoy, stress out about, and write about this child in the upcoming months and years! For now, my heart is so full, savoring the last few months of being just the two of us and loving the fact that my tiny, incubating baby is always with me wherever I go.

My Husband is Trying to Grow a Pineapple

I firmly that believe that everyone is weird. You just have to get to know individuals to unearth their quirks. And, to me, it's people's wacky sides that make them so interesting and fun to know!


My husband is no exception. (And I love it!)


It all started innocently enough with a few tomato plants, a bed of Chinese broccoli, a mushroom kit. Now, the gardening going on at home has reached some new level of absurdity considering how little experience and space we have.


Our little strip of dirt that's three feet deep and two bedrooms wide now boasts the following plants in various stages of growth: parsley, basil, strawberries, five types of tomatoes, carrots, red bell peppers, serrano peppers, thai peppers, a hydranga, some other flowers, squash, two types of lettuce, kale, chard, arugula, bok choy, cilantro, celery, spinach, snap peas, three types of beans, tomatillos, artichokes, red cabbage, rosemary, a couple of succulents, and beets. I'm probably missing something. Oh yes, the onion flower. An old onion started sprouting, so we stuck it in the ground and after producing many green onion-like shoots, it is now a three foot tall purple flower with a thick green oniony stem.


The seeds from within the pits from within the apricots that I bought this weekend are now in jars filled with dirt in our fridge to fake winter like conditions to force them to sprout. So, I guess Michael's officially growing an apricot tree too.


We also have red bell pepper plants growing thanks to my husband taking the seeds from red bell peppers bought from the store, drying them on a plate in the sun, and planting them a few weeks (months?) later.


And even with all that going on, I think this new development takes the cake when it comes to absurdity: Michael is trying to grow a pineapple. I fully endorse this event or product.


Here's the original pineapple.

Removing the top:

Letting it dry out in the backyard. (Mind you, this is following instructions from the blog of some man who has successfully grown pineapples in the continental US.)

The top sitting in water in a jar on top of our fridge. The goal is root production. Notice the water changing schedule, written in dry erase marker, with a reminder for me to change it while he's out of town this week.

An old yogurt container filled with proper pineapple growing soil waiting to receive our pineapple plant.

Assuming all goes as planned, it is going to take two to three years for our plant to produce a single pineapple. I'm not holding my breath.

Loving a Person Just the Way They Are

I love this singer/songwriter. I love this song. I love these lyrics. They are so simple and so true.

"Loving a Person" by Sara Groves and Gordon Kennedy

Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing
It takes some time to see things through
Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting
We need grace either way

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying
It's a vulnerable place to be
Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby
Only one makes you free

Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through

If we go looking for offense
We're going to find it
If we go looking for real love
We're going to find it

Just because posts feel naked without a picture

Three Years

March 2009.

March 2012.

There aren't words to describe how happy I am to be stuck with this guy 'til death do us part.


Happy Anniversary, Michael!

Valentine's Day

He bought me flowers, gave me a card, made me truffles, and took me too...

The waiter fastened plastic bibs around our necks and told us to roll up our sleeves. Fifteen minutes later, we were served knotted plastic bags of shrimp drowned in a spicy cajun sauce. (A bit reminiscent of goldfish from the pet store, come to think of it.) We ripped open our bags, obediently rolled up our sleeves, and went to town peeling and feasting on shrimp.

Just have to say that we only brought our point and shoot
and it was blinking "I AM OUT OF BATTERY," so these
pics are rushed, horrid, and pretty fun.

We had been planning on trying out The Boiling Crab for well over a year, but the 40+ minute drive followed by a 40+ minute wait was enough to postpone it. But, then the chain expanded closer to home, so we finally got to go. What a good Valentine's Day.