Swimming in the Jungle

I've been thinking a lot about parenting out of my strengths rather than out of some notion of what I think a good mom "should" do.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to bake cookies with my three kids, ages 6, 4, and 1. I don't like baking. When I think about the handful of times I've baked with my kids, I feel stressed. But, I have this image of a "good mom" in the kitchen, patiently helping her kids measure flour and crack eggs. So, I decided baking cookies together was a good idea.

Within about five minutes of starting, one daughter had dropped a raw egg on the floor, the other daughter had cracked a raw egg with the insides landing more on the table than in the bowl, somehow there was flour everywhere already, and the one year old was yelling "See! See! See!" wanting to spend the whole experience up high on my hip where he could watch the baking chaos leaving me short one hand that I so desperately needed.

I felt overwhelmed and I was doing everything I could not to roll my eyes and snap at my daughters. I told them how I was feeling, "Grace and Cora, mommy is feeling a little overwhelmed right now. You're not in trouble, but I need a break. I'm going to mix the dough during Isaiah's nap and later this afternoon, you can help me form the dough into cookies." Thankfully, they were chill and went with it. Who wants to bake with barely-holding-it-together-mommy anyway?

Fast forward a week, we were on vacation at one of the beautiful islands here in Thailand. After a couple of days of going to the beach and the pool, the pool and the beach, I pulled out my phone to see what else we could do and found the description of a short hike to a waterfall. "Michael are you up for this?" "Sure, let's do it."

The next day, we dressed our kids in swimsuits, packed lots of snacks, and coached them along a 600 meter hiking trail through the jungle to a waterfall that was just a trickle due to little rain. Over the next couple of hours, I took my kids swimming in the deep, cool natural pool showing them how to keep the fish from nibbling their feet and legs and showing them how to use the ropes to pull themselves up onto the rocks surrounding the pool so they could jump and slide into the water. We watched orange butterflies fluttering around and we fed cracker crumbs to the fish. The time flew by. I felt tired, but in a satisfied way from working and playing hard.

When I think of a "good mom," I think of quality time baking cookies together in the kitchen. When I think of a "good mom" I never think of quality time swimming in a natural pool on a jungle island. But, the cookie baking scenario stresses me out. The hiking and swimming scenario sounds SO MUCH FUN every time.

Since we live in a large city, adventurous hikes don't happen often, but I do enjoy sharing mini experiences of nature and adventure with my kids even if it's going to the neighborhood pool, trying a new Thai fruit or dessert together, playing at the park after dinner, or watering plants together on the front porch.

My husband doesn't bake and, if it wasn't for me, he probably wouldn't go swimming in the jungle. These are not his strengths. Michael is a total Bible nerd, devouring books and podcasts on theology and the Bible. He is also a gifted teacher. He can explain complicated subjects clearly and succinctly.

This strength has found its way into his parenting. When he is hanging out with the kids at home, he gets into deep conversations about God, theology, the Bible, and life - taking complicated topics that most adults don't even understand and packaging them in a way that our daughters can understand. When they talk theology, their endless questions meet his endless patience and Michael satiates their curiosity with stories, metaphors, and examples of really, really complicated stuff. He frequently keeps our girls happy and engaged for long periods of time by simply using this strength.

Doing only things I enjoy 100% of the time while parenting is totally unrealistic. There's usually a mountain of dishes at my house, homework to complete, groceries to buy. BUT letting go of my fantasy image of the good mom I "should" be and replacing that image with who I really am, strengths, weaknesses, and all… that sounds doable, life-giving, and runs a higher chance of me actually connecting with my kids and passing on some of the things I love to my little munchkins during these short years that they are under my care.

Things I Learned This Rainy Season

We're about halfway through the six month rainy season. Here's what I've learned this rainy season so far...

Fresh lychee is so flavorful.

I'd previously only had the canned stuff that you can put on your frozen yogurt at Yogurtland in Southern California. The fresh fruit has a wonderful, bright, concentrated flavor.

Feeling the baby kick is still the best thing, even the third time around.

Though recently, the kicking has morphed into more of an uncomfortable scraping sensation. I will be so ready for him to get out of me in a few weeks!

You can get great baked goods in Bangkok. 

My current favorite place: Coffee Beans by Dao. Their lemon meringue pie and cheesecake are exquisite.

Arts and crafts with kids is FUN! 

The idea of arts and crafts with my kids used to terrify me. I envisioned 20 minutes of mommy prep time for every 5 minutes of kids being busy time followed by 15 minutes of mommy clean up time, scraping Elmer's glue off every surface and glitter out of every orifice. 

Several months ago, I noticed my daughters loved coloring with crayons. So, I threw watercolors in the mix and taught them how to set up painting all by themselves. They loved it. So, I gave them scissors. Then, scotch tape. They now spend at least an hour a day cutting, coloring, painting, and taping. And the best part is, I don't have to do much! They set up their projects by themselves and clean up mostly by themselves. I just have to keep the supplies in a handy drawer. And the final products are amazing, entertaining, and adorable. Or sometimes gross. Here's "poop with dragon fruit seeds in it" done with watercolors.

My 4-yr-old and I have the same hair.

How to cloth diaper the Thai way.

We (mostly) used cloth diapers on our daughters when we were living the U.S. We found them easy enough to use and we loved the cost savings and the planet earth savings. With another baby on the way, a washing machine that only does tepid water, and no clothes dryer, I thought we might have to switch to 100% disposable diapering with the new baby. Boo!

Then, at our girls' preschool, I noticed a mom had her baby in cloth diapers. I began asking her all about them and she taught me how to cloth diaper the Thai way using one large, thin, square cloth folded up. I plan to try to use our old, cloth diapers from the U.S., but if they just don't come clean here, it's good to know the tried and true Thai method.

I can buy fried cocoons and fried crickets at my local market and my friends tell me they taste good. 

But, I think I will stick with the grilled fish, tropical fruits, pad thai, fried chicken, etc. Thank you.

The green pastures of Psalm 23 do not refer to lush meadows but to arid hills

And the sheep need the shepherd to lead them from tuft to tuft of grass so that they have enough to eat. This imagery of constant reliance on God fits the realities of my life so much better than the imagery of resting in a green buffet. This video is such a good watch.

Heat + humidity + pregnancy = exhaustion 

I don't remember feeling this worn out either previous pregnancy. As my pregnancy progresses, I set our AC lower and lower to give myself the energy boost I need.

Finding a Thai name for our son is hard.

We've had our son's first name chosen since June, but really we've liked the name since I was pregnant with our first kid five years ago! As for the middle name, we wanted to give our son a Thai middle name to celebrate his 1/4 Thai heritage, his upcoming birth in Thailand, and the fact that he will likely spend a lot or all of his childhood here. But, most names sounded a bit too strange to an English speaker's ear or had strange meanings. 

Last week, we sat down to talk about his middle name and within just 15 minutes, we stumbled upon a name we love. We'll let you know what it is when he arrives!

Unplug

"I am noticing that the more I fill my life with the convenience of technology, the emptier I become in the places of my deepest longing.

"I long for the beauty and substance of being in the presence of those I love, even though it is less convenient. 

"I long for spacious, thoughtful conversation even though it is less efficient. I long to be connected with my authentic self, even though it means being inaccessible to others at times.

"I long to be one who waits and listens deeply for the still, small voice of God, even if it means I must unplug from technology in order to become quiet enough to hear." 

~ Ruth Haley Barton "Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation"


I'm always learning and re-learning this one. You too?

May God form us into people who are strangely forgetful of our devices and who are present to our spouses, our children, our friends, our work, our passions & longings, and the still small voice of God.

Amen.

Third Kid

We're anticipating the arrival of our third kid in about three months. I've noticed some pretty major differences between pregnancy with the first, second, and third baby. For instance...

Ultrasound pictures

Baby #1 - Newest ultrasound pic is always on the fridge

Baby #2 - Forget the ultrasound pics at the OB's office. Have to go back in to get them. Once home, they eventually go on the fridge... I think.

Baby #3 - Ultrasound printout turns into scratch paper for big sisters' butterfly project.

Naming the Baby

Baby #1 - Start talking about names well before you know the gender. It takes months, lists, perhaps even an excel spreadsheet and a couple arguments.

Baby #2 - Realize your baby grows into whatever name you give it, so just choose something you both like. Decision relatively painless.

Baby #3 - Don't even mention names until you know the gender. When you find out the gender (boy!), choose the baby's name in one 20-minute sitting.

Levels of Tiredness

Baby #1 - Tired.

Baby #2 - Tireder.

Baby #3 - I'm gonna die.

Baby Moon

Baby #1 - Baby moon spent at a B&B in a quaint, artsy little town on California's central coast having long conversations over lattes, touring a mansion, and taking lots of pictures.

Baby #2 - Grandparents watch baby #1 and we get away for one night at a local hotel, sleep until 10am (!), eat an enormous breakfast buffet, and take one terrible selfie. Decide two days before going to call it an anniversary getaway and a baby moon.

Baby #3 - Grandparents thousands of miles away. Take the whole family to an inexpensive, family friendly beach "resort." It will feel like vacation because we will not have to do laundry, cook, do dishes, or clean. Amen.

Baby registry

Baby #1 - Baby registry takes many long hours to complete. Advice from the internet and other moms is absolutely bewildering.

Baby #2 & #3 - Feel confident about what your needs and wants. Preparing for the baby is almost stress-free. Yes!

There are some strong similarities between all three pregnancies, too.

Worry

Baby #1, #2, and #3 - Worry but try not to worry about miscarriage the entire first trimester. During the second and third trimester, start to worry whenever you don't feel the baby kick for a couple of hours. Breathe a sigh of relief as you pass important viability milestones... 28 weeks (sigh), 32 weeks (sigh), 37 weeks (full term!).

Anticipation

Baby #1, #2, and #3 - The anticipation for and the love for each child is the same. We marvel at how each kid steals your entire heart, but then when another kid comes, your heart grows and the next kid completely steals it as well! We are so looking forward to October when we get to see our little boy's face and hold him in our arms and be enraptured once again by a tiny human who does nothing but poop, cry, nurse, and sleep.

A Monday in My Life

Every week and every day is different, but here is one Monday in my life...

6:30

Wake up and try to go back to sleep. But can't. Zone out on my phone for a few minutes before getting out of bed.

7:00

Appear downstairs where my whole family is just starting breakfast and find out that Michael feels pretty sick. The girls were sick last week, I got it a couple days ago, and now Michael has it.

During breakfast, we call my brother-in-law to wish him a belated happy birthday. With the 12 hour time difference, we have very limited windows where our girls and family in the US are all awake, so when Jason and Andrea don't pick up, we just take a video of us singing Happy Birthday and send that instead.

8:00

Michael drops the girls off at The Well's daycare program. We're in the long, hot season school break right now and our nonprofit org runs a daycare so women enrolled in their program or employed by The Well can continue working. Our kids go about three mornings a week. Great Thai language immersion!

While Michael drops them off, I head to the pool to swim laps for 15 minutes, shower at home, see a missed call from Jason and Andrea, so I call them back and we squeeze in a little catch up right before their evening church small group starts up.

9:00 

Find out Michael has decided to try to push back our Thai lesson to later in the week because he just doesn't feel good. Fine with me because I haven't prepared for our lesson yet. 

I clean up breakfast dishes and then go run errands around my neighborhood which always entails a lot of walking and sweating. I pay the fees for the new school year starting in May, stop by work to schedule a meeting with a woman who I'm doing a project with, buy a bunch of bananas from a street vendor, and run into a friend and chat for a few minutes.

10:00

Return home. Check some emails. I feel so tired from running errands in the heat, I prepare a large snack / small lunch before I head out to pick up the girls.

11:00

Pick up the girls from daycare. Both of them are cranky from heat, hunger, and tiredness. One of them is really disobedient too. I pile them into the single BOB stroller, big girl in the normal spot, little girl sitting on the footrest. They whine off and on the whoooooole way home. We pick up Thai style grilled chicken and sticky rice for lunch. When we get home we eat it with the bananas I picked up earlier.

12:00

Down for naps! Well, Cora sleeps, Grace plays alone in our room for a little over an hour. I sit down and detox from my kids' whiny-ness. Then, review some Thai.

This afternoon, Michael is watching the girls. We do lots of trading back and forth of who's working and who's "on the girls." My work hours come out to about 18+ and his to about 22+. Altogether, we work 40+ hours per week.

1:00 

I overworked last week, so I decide to use my afternoon to try out a new, "expensive" hair salon recommended by my American friend, Judy. In the chaos of the past 18 months, I've only gotten my hair cut once and I desperately need many inches chopped off. I get a little lost on the way there, but eventually find it. I get my hair washed (including a head massage), cut, and styled. And I love the final result! I think I've finally found my Bangkok hair salon! Makes my life here feel even more like home. Total cost: not even $9.

2:45

Drive home. The pressure of the seatbelt across my lap makes the baby kick. Hi there, little one! I see a plant store with gorgeous potted flowers I've been eyeing since we moved here. I stop and look at them. Standing in the sun in 100 degree heat is making my brain fuzzy, so I decide not to buy this time, then head the rest of the way home.

3:00 

Get in some good work time preparing for my next Thai lesson and then sending off an email to prayer supporters.

5:00 

The girls watch Daniel Tiger on PBS while Michael and I cook an extra yummy meal - homemade hamburger patties with sauteed onions and white wine sauce, snap pea and cherry tomato salad with oil and vinegar dressing, boiled potatoes, and a "banana milkshake" (aka spinach, bananas, and milk blended for the girls).

6:00 

Michael cleans up from dinner (a big job with all the cooking and no dishwasher!) and I bathe the girls who are 100% sweet, cute, and playful.

7:00 

I see the tiredness in Grace's eyes (remember how whiney she was earlier and how she didn't nap?) so I put them to bed early. We clean up a bit more and then watch the most recent episode of TLC's Nate and Jeremiah by Design featuring our friends and former pastors Janelle & Allen! We have trouble with our internet being slow and our VPN not working great, so it takes well over an hour to watch the 45 minute show, but it is so worth it!

9:00

Get all ready for bed and then start a Chief Inspector Gamache mystery novel that I just downloaded to Kindle yesterday. Such a fun series!

10:15

Asleep.

Kids One Year Ago and Today

We are only 13 months into life in a new country. From what the old-timers tell me, we are still in the very beginning, often rough stages of adjustment to a new language, culture, and home. But, still, it is so good to recognize the progress our family has made in feeling comfortable in our corner of Bangkok.

First family picture in Thailand taken in the outside kitchen of Michael's
aunt's house just a few hours after our plane landed.
Our daughters had no idea of the enormity of the change they were going through!

Over a year ago, in the week leading up to our big, international move and the two weeks after, 18-month-old Cora would not leave my arms. She sat on my hip all day, every day. If I set her down she cried. She watched our house in California, which she'd known since birth, slowly get gutted out as everything she knew went in the trash, sold on Craigslist, or into storage. Most of her toys and books disappeared as they were packed in boxes to be shipped to Thailand.

Then, one day, we got on a plane and arrived in a new very hot, humid place filled with the noises of tropical birds, barking dogs, and noisy motorcycles. She continued to live in my arms for another two weeks.

Whenever Cora saw a motorcycle or a Thai person, she buried her head into my shoulder. Motorcycles were too loud. Thai people were too threatening to her, always wanting to hold her and touch her. Bangkok is full of motorcycles and Thai people, so whenever we left the house, she closed her eyes and buried her face into my shoulder hiding from the world. For two whole weeks!

Both Cora and three-year-old big sister, Grace, threw some massive, category five tantrums during those first few weeks. They were induced by jet lag, no toilet paper in a bathroom, a slippery chunk of mango jumping out of chubby hands and landing on the dirty ground, finding seeds in their oranges, and other things. The whole nine yards. Screaming, flailing, whole body on the ground mom-and-dad-why-did-you-bring-me-here tantrums.

For the first couple of months, Grace completely and utterly refused to speak Thai. She would not say "hello" or "thank you" in Thai when we told her to. She was in utter rebellion and it was sometimes rude and embarrassing.

But, they've adjusted. (They had to!)

Wearing tutus and walking to a friend's house for dinner.

Picking up lunch from street food vendors and biking it home.

The category five tantrums are few and far between. And they are not caused by moving overseas stress anymore. They are caused by normal, irrational toddler and preschooler things like being way too tired before a nap and a parent forcing them to try to pee so they don't wet the bed while they sleep. You know, things like that.

Both girls speak dozens (maybe hundreds? don't keep track.) of Thai words. And they understand far more than they speak. Grace still sometimes refuses to speak Thai, but that's ok. We see her listening and learning and slowly making progress.

Now when we walk through the streets of Bangkok. They each hold a parent's hand. They hardly notice loud motorcycles passing just a couple of feet from them. 

The Thai strangers who used to scare Cora are now our friends and neighbors. They don't fawn over our kids as much anymore because they're no longer a novelty. But, when they do get special attention, our kids ignore it. Or sometimes Cora performs and flirts and sings and speaks Thai to feed the attention. What a difference from just one year ago!

Things I Learned This Rainy Season

Since moving to Thailand nine months ago, I have lost seasons as I've always known them. There is no summer, winter, fall, and spring here in the tropics. Rather, we have hot season, rainy/monsoon season, and "cool" (aka not-quite-as-hot) season.

Hot season comes in April and May. School is off and the smallest exertion makes us sweat buckets.

June through October or November is rainy season. We get almost daily rain and some wild thunderstorms.

They tell me cool season has started and will run up into hot season. But, with highs around 90 degrees + humidity, it's still hot to me!

What did I learn this rainy season?

In Bangkok, September is dragonfly month.

One day in September, while watching my little girls play at our neighborhood's dinky little playground, I looked up and saw dozens and dozens of dragonflies flitting around just a few meters over my head. For the next few weeks, while walking down the sidewalk, I would occasionally look up and there they were: hundreds of dragonflies. Then, after a couple of weeks, they were gone. I look forward to dragonfly month next rainy season.

We all need awe and wonder in our lives.

For Thanksgiving, I wrote about allowing our gratitude to turn into awe and wonder over the mystery of what the God who gives us all good things must be like. Many people really connected with this idea and expressed their need for a life lived in adoration of God.

My three-year-old is fairly athletic.

My first-born, Grace, took 15 months to learn how to walk. At that point, she was already speaking in two to three word sentences. From that point on, I assumed she was a smart, not athletic kid.

Six weeks ago, we got our hands on a tricycle and little bike with training wheels. She had never ridden a trike or a bike before. Nevertheless, on day one she mastered the trike and on day two she was pedaling the bike everywhere. I remember watching in shock at how quickly she learned it.

Here's to not labeling very young children, but rather giving them opportunities to try all sorts of new things and allowing them to surprise us.

I missed cooking.

For the first six months after moving to Thailand, I rarely cooked and we relied on super cheap, super yummy, super high sodium street food to carry us through. In August, I began cooking simple, healthy meals for my family of four again. I really enjoy being able to do this again for my family.

I am learning to ask God throughout my day what it means to be faithful to Him in the present moment, and I am learning to ask Him for the strength to do it.

Sometimes being faithful means tackling a pile of dishes (we don’t have a dishwasher) and practicing new Thai grammar while my kids nap. Sometimes, especially when I notice anxiety creeping into my soul, being faithful means setting aside my language study for half an hour to brew a cup of tea, pray, and rest.

I am so grateful that God doesn’t call us to be successful. In most areas of my life, success isn’t entirely within my control. Instead, He calls his followers to be faithful people who rely on Him. With His help, that’s something I can do.

I Don't Do It All

This month, I tried something new -- writing on someone else's blog!

My friend, Bethany, has been hosting a series on her blog where different moms share their strengths (what they DO) and their shortcomings (what they DON'T DO) because "in this age of Mommy Wars, what we really need is a reminder that none of us can Do. It. All."

This week, she's featuring me. Click here to read all about my strengths/shortcomings as a mama.

Click here to read other contributions from other mamas. You will be challenged and encouraged!

48 Hours at the Beach

Five months of Bangkok had me wound up tight. On Friday afternoon, I found out Grace's preschool was closed for a Buddhist holiday on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, so we hightailed it to the beach.

I remember beach vacations pre-kids -- spreading a towel over the lumpy sand; pulling a novel out of my backpack; reading, snuggling, and chatting while listening to the waves and feeling the breeze.

Nowadays, our three-year-old and one-year-old come along. We slather the sunscreen on thick, build sand castles, help our preschooler overcome her fear of waves, hope the toddler doesn't poop in her swim diaper, hunt for seashells, and poke a dead jellyfish (One finger! Gentle!) -- thanks, Dory and Marlin, for teaching me that the tops don't sting.

In the midst of all the work and play, play and work that is vacation with little kids, we managed to all return feeling refreshed. This is the good, hard, blessed, tiring, joyful life of raising children.

Riding the Roller Coaster of Toddler Emotions

As I raise my kids, ages 3 years and 21 months, I notice that any given day can oscillate rapidly between them being ridiculously cute, to moody, to silly and playful, to screaming in rage, and back to cute again with shocking speed. Sometimes the monster moments and the melt your heart moments come right on top of each other with hardly a breath in between.

I recently stumbled upon this vignette of motherhood and toddlerhood that I wrote about six months ago when Cora, my second kiddo, was 15-months-old. I think it captures the often-overlapping challenges and joys of parenting.

~

Last night, Cora was a hot mess.

She had napped well in the afternoon -- almost three hours ending at 4:30. However, by 6:30, our little firecracker was completely melting down. There were moments where she bowed low, forehead plastered to the ground screaming. Toddler D-R-A-M-A.

I gave her some space to see if she would just get over it. I tried to hold her. I tried to play with her. Nothing worked, she continued to cry hard. Finally, I took two deep breaths, scooped her up, and began her bedtime routine early.

As I carried her upstairs, brushed her teeth, and gave her a pacifier and blankie she calmed down realizing that bedtime was just around the corner.

I dressed her in striped green and blue second-hand baby boy pajamas. Her hair, now that it was finally released from her top-of-the-head firework hairdo, was loose, sticking up straight and wild. Her dark brown eyes were content and heavy and regularly drooping closed. She held her pacifier in her mouth just below her tiny button nose rhythmically suck, suck, sucking. She clasped her gray bunny blankie with both delicate hands holding it up to her nose, breathing in the smell and feeling the soft, gray fur.

I scooped her tiny body into my lap. I barely felt her there, not because she's so tiny (though she is) but because I am so used to her being there I don't even feel it when she is. We whispered our way through Goodnight Moon.

I pressed her little hands together between my hands like a Cora hands sandwich with Mommy hands bread. I prayed for her and she listened enraptured looking at her hands pressed between mine.

Then, we sang a little song and off she went to sleep without a tear.

Things I Learned in April

I recently moved from the U.S. to Thailand, so I learn approximately fifty new things every day. Here are just a few of the things I've learned this past month.

Tofu is tasty. I'm one of those not-picky-at-all foodies who will eat anything. Except tofu and hot dogs. I've always hated both. Until last week when a friend served us homemade veggie stir fry with fried egg tofu. It was fantastic. I bought egg tofu and made it for myself tonight. Here's Michael learning to cook from the Thai food master, Bpop.

Instagram is fun. I'm, like, five years late to the game, but I've started posting over-posting on Instagram. It's easier than blogging and anything that makes life simpler and easier is welcome in this season of my life.

High heat and high humidity make for the stankiest garbage trucks ever. I seriously cannot believe the smell that enters my home when the garbage truck comes by.

How to put contacts in with a fan blowing. If the fan is on, my contacts blow off my finger before they reach my eyeball. If the fan is off, I sweat buckets. I've learned how to turn my back to the fan to minimize the breeze and to wait for the precise moment that the fan has oscillated away from me to practically throw the contact into my eye. This is an important skill for living in the tropics, people.

Don't store car seats in an unventilated storage closet in Bangkok. We brought car seats to Thailand, but we don't own a car yet to put them in, so two months ago they entered our storage closet. A couple of weeks ago, we pulled them out to install them into a car for a long ride out of the city. We were shocked to find them covered in a blanket of thick, velvety mold. All I wanted to do was throw them away. But, since replacing two car seats would cost almost $1K here and because we're die-hard Americans when it comes to vehicular safety, we washed them and used them.

I love, love, love my cheap-o espresso machine. In mid-February, we packed two boxes of stuff (toys, pots, books, etc.) to ship on the ocean to Thailand. I put my espresso machine in. I regretted it every single day of the approximately 70 days I lived without it. Next time I move around the world, my espresso machine goes in my carry on.

In the Thai language, "tam-ngaan" and "nam-taan" are not the same thing. I've counted at least three drink vendors located within a five minute walk of my house that serve Thai iced coffee. It's pretty tasty and dirt cheap, but way way way too sweet. 

To remedy the sweetness, I recently ordered my iced coffee with just a little "tam-ngaan" (which means "work") and then felt confused the vendor still dumped a couple of tablespoons of sugar in my coffee. Now I know to order it with a little bit of "nam-taan." (which means, you guessed it, sugar)

Exercise beats culture shock and transition stress like nothing else. Several times a week, I blast the A/C and fan in my bedroom and do 20-30 minute workout session courtesy of FitnessBlender.com. Afterward, I always feel better. And, I've been exercising so much that with the light at the right angle, while flexing, if I let my vision get a little blurry I can sort of maybe make out the beginnings of a six pack. Yes!

And last, but certainly not least, little girls do not do this: Or at least mine don't.

When I found out that our second kiddo was going to be another girl, somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I imagined my two girls hair curled, wearing floral dresses, sitting in a meadow having a civilized tea party.

Fast forward two years: Most of the time, my girls ignore each other or fight over toys. When they play nicely together, they never have a tea party. Their favorite pretend games are flying on an airplane, being a train, going to school, and throwing a birthday party. I love it. These are my goofball girls...

The Rocks that Make a Mountain

Welcoming a new child into your family and raising her is a holy, awesome endeavor. And day to day, that means a lot of butt wiping, lift-a-flap book reading, and sippy cup washing. Very quickly, mundane details smother my vision of the holy and awesome and I think, "I signed up for GLORIOUS PARENTING not this everyday parenting. What happened?"

Moving to another country to be a missionary is a holy, awesome endeavor. And day to day, that means applying for an international driver's license, fixing insurance problems, and scheduling typhoid shots. Very quickly, the mundane details smother my vision of the holy and awesome and I think, "I signed up for GLORIOUS MISSIONARY WORK not everyday ministry. What happened?"

Most of my life involves the mundane -- cleaning up crumbs, checking emails, taking kids to the dentist, scheduling a phone call with my supervisor. And somewhere in these details, I lose the bigger picture.

I imagine these feelings are not particular to my life. Working in the ICU, building a dam, writing a book, working on your degree, starting a business, or whatever you find taking up most of your time -- they are all holy, awesome endeavors. And day to day, they involve a lot of mundane details.

And I remember: Christ himself had the most holy, awesome endeavor of all -- to reconcile humankind with the Father and to usher in a new Kingdom. And on the average day, that meant fastening wooden legs to a table, memorizing the law, and picking bones out of his fish.

The day to day details are the individual gray rocks that make up the grand and lofty mountain. How do I engage with the everyday mundane in a way that does not smother my vision for the holy, awesome endeavor that I am working towards?

Six Things I Learned This Summer

How to make cheese. In Thailand, cheese is nonexistent or super expensive. Since we will soon be living there and since I already know how to make yogurt (the first step in cheesemaking), I've been wanting to learn how to make cheese. In July, my brother, who is probably the best cook I know, taught me how to make queso fresco. Now, I've just got to try making it once or twice on my own.

How to shoot a gun. My brother-in-law is a little bit hick (love you, Jason!), so this summer, when he offered to teach me how to shoot, I jumped at the chance. Jason, a few other family members, and I all went into the woods in Colorado and shot clay pigeons. I nailed a few which made me feel proud. But, then again, most were only about 15 feet away.

The origins of see-saw. Just a board across a gate. Brilliant. (The image below comes from Over the Hills and Far Away" a collection of nursery rhymes from around the world illustrated by dozens of the best children's illustrators of our day. It's one of the most beautiful children's books I've ever seen.)

I love watercolor paintings. When I see something like this painting or this blog header, I feel inspired.

The potty-train-your-kid-in-one-weekend method does not work for my toddler. Grace needs lots of time and lots of space to process any sort of transition, so what made me think she'd transition from diapers to undies in one weekend? Potty training involved one false start, lots of patience from me, and lots of unpleasant odors on our carpet. But, she's now rocking it.

My husband always teases me for being such an independent woman. And, he's right, I am. But, when it comes to anything techie/geeky/nerdy, Michael is the knight in shining armor rescuing this damsel in distress.