Welcome, Isaiah

Our third child arrived on Saturday evening, October 7th, here in Bangkok after a lightning fast and super smooth labor. He weighed 3.14 kg (7ish pounds) and was 51 cm (20 in) long.

Here's the story of his birth and his name.

Our first two kids came early (38 weeks) and very quickly (2 hrs and 4 hrs). So, this third time around, we were prepared to rush out the door at a moment's notice starting at about 37 weeks pregnant.

I remember feeling crampy and injured the day before and the day he was born due to my OB stripping my membranes without asking for my permission or telling me what she was going to do. (culture. shock.)

I remember the afternoon before Isaiah was born, receiving texts from my sister, Andrea, saying she thought she was in early labor but not sure yet. My sister and I had overlapping pregnancies with our babies due just one week apart. It was such a joy to be able to share this experience. But, all of our sharing was via texts and phone calls because we live around the globe from each other. In the joy, there was the heartache of not getting to give each other awkward pregnant hugs, feel her baby kick, or sit down in the same room to swap pregnancy stories.

I remember waking up overnight to waddle to the bathroom and checking my phone and seeing texts about Andrea's progress at the hospital. Her baby was on its way...

I remember waking up Saturday morning to pictures of Andrea and Jason's newborn son, Jackson, born Friday afternoon in Colorado. What a gift!

Looking forward to holding this amazing little man in December.

I remember going out to dinner for my mother-in-law's birthday on Saturday. I remember continuing to feel tired and crampy, but I enjoyed the distraction of a beautiful, fun meal. My contractions were still so irregular, there was nothing to time and no reason to head to the hospital.

I remember arriving home from the birthday dinner at about 6:30pm and lying down in bed to rest because I felt awful. I lay there listening to the happy sounds of Michael bathing our daughters and I wondered what life would be like with a newborn in the mix. 

I remember 7pm when I was overcome with one huge contraction that felt like I was already mostly through labor. I remember yelling through the closed door, "Michael! We need to go to the hospital NOW!" and Michael's parents jumping in immediately to take over the girls' bedtime routine.

I remember the contractions slowing down while driving to the hospital and feeling relieved that our son wasn't going to come as fast as I feared.

I remember checking in to the hospital at about 8pm, the doctor doing the first internal check, and guessing it would be about two more hours. I felt greatly relieved because the pain was already so intense.

I remember the pain being so great, I didn't know if I could do it much longer. I looked up at the large digital clock in front of me, saw that it was 9pm and I told myself to just hang in there for 30 more minutes. 

I remember Michael encouraging me and holding my hand and telling me our baby would be here very soon. I discovered that vigorously rubbing my face helped the most with the pain. Weird!

I remember at almost 9:30pm the pushing contractions started. This part is always THE WORST.

I remember the doctor telling me right away that she saw his head. I responded in disbelief, "Really?!" The pushing contractions were so intense, I felt like I must be injuring my son and I asked, "Is the baby ok?" And the doctor responded, "Yes, he's fine." This exact exchange happened with all three kids.

I remember Isaiah coming out at 9:33pm and first noticing how healthy he looked and that he was indeed a boy!

I remember after cleaning him up and stitching me up, Isaiah was placed cheek to cheek with me for our first picture. I remember crying with relief over being done with pregnancy, done with waiting, and done with labor, with a healthy baby boy.

I remember the doctors whisking him away saying "hospital policy" was for newborns to be separate from their moms for 3 hours post-birth. (Culture shock again!) The prospect of being separated for three hours was the hardest part, more difficult than labor. Michael followed the doctors as they wheeled my crying boy to the nursery and advocated hard for Isaiah and me to be reunited. 

I remember about an hour after he was born, they finally brought him back and I got to hold and nurse him. The love was instant.

~

Isaiah means "God is salvation." He is indeed salvation in every way. Isaiah's middle name, Arun (อรุณ), is Thai for "dawn" and is a direct reference to Isaiah 60 where God comes like the dawn bringing an end to the perpetual night that we live in and Isaiah 58 where God promises that when His people pursue justice, their light "will break forth like the dawn."

Cora - Three Years Old

This past year was full of big milestones for Cora including becoming fully potty trained (last September), learning to ride a bike with training wheels (January), switching from a crib to a "big girl bed" (February), giving up her pacifier (February), and starting preschool five mornings a week (May). That's a lot for one year!

Some of Cora's favorite things these days include:

Our family. Cora adores each member of our family, even her soon-to-be-born baby brother. She gives snuggles to the baby (aka my belly) every day. When Michael or I come home, she runs to the door, excited to have our family back together. When we drop her off at school, she insists on getting a hug and a kiss. When we pick her up, she comes out of her classroom bouncing and giggling and plasters herself to our legs. Also, she loves her stuffed gray bunny so much, he practically makes the cut as a family member.

Grace. Cora particularly loves Grace. (And Grace loves her back.) She started preschool in May five mornings a week with hardly a tear. We were so impressed by her bravery. Then, Grace was slammed with sickness and missed many days of school in a row. Cora's bravery crumbled quickly and we realized that she was fearless because she knew her big sister was in the same building. Since then, I've noticed more and more just how much she looks up to her big sister, following her and copying her and riding off her bravery. 

Scotch tape. Cora loves taping everything. She even taped a colored pencil to our bathroom door. She also loves stickers, paint, crayons, markers, etc. Besides her art supplies, Cora's favorite toys are Michael's big bucket of Duplos from his childhood, her IKEA train set, and her doctor kit. She wants to be a doctor when she grows up.

Doing everything by herself. It's very difficult to force Cora to do anything she doesn't want to do. But, when she wants to do something on her own (which is often), we cannot intervene or she will scream. She has figured out how to do many surprising things -- like pull in most of our family's laundry from the drying rack, button her school uniform buttons, and peel her own fruit. 

Perfect example of this fierce independence: When she was approaching two years old, she was showing all the classic signs of potty-training readiness, so we attempted to teach her. She utterly refused, so we stopped trying. Then, about three days after we gave up, she decided on her own terms that she was ready and she potty trained herself. Just a month later, we were able to ditch her overnight diapers too!

Provoking us. Cora loves to tease and provoke her big sister... probably because Grace reacts so well. She is by and large a very good kid, but she can be really naughty, doing exactly the opposite of what we tell her to do with a mischievous glint in her eye. She definitely has a strong, classic "threenager" streak in her.

Singing and talking and being silly. Cora's voice is very raspy and cracks a lot. She loves to sing out all the songs she knows, particularly Thai preschool songs, loud in her raspy, unsteady voice. When she acts silly and makes us laugh, she throws her head all the way back, laughing with delight. But, she doesn't talk and sing and joke all the time. Sometimes, she gets lost in her play world of coloring, blocks, and trains and she's absolutely silent for long stretches.

Eating. Cora is tiny. She has been since the day she was born. But, she eats so, so much. Today, she plowed through an entire adult sized portion of chicken and rice plus many pieces of guava for dessert. At the beginning of the school term, her preschool teacher told us almost daily, "She ate two whole bowls of food for lunch!" If only she knew we usually have to give Cora a snack when she gets home too.

Cora, you are one-of-a-kind and we love you just the way you are.

Things I Learned This Rainy Season

We're about halfway through the six month rainy season. Here's what I've learned this rainy season so far...

Fresh lychee is so flavorful.

I'd previously only had the canned stuff that you can put on your frozen yogurt at Yogurtland in Southern California. The fresh fruit has a wonderful, bright, concentrated flavor.

Feeling the baby kick is still the best thing, even the third time around.

Though recently, the kicking has morphed into more of an uncomfortable scraping sensation. I will be so ready for him to get out of me in a few weeks!

You can get great baked goods in Bangkok. 

My current favorite place: Coffee Beans by Dao. Their lemon meringue pie and cheesecake are exquisite.

Arts and crafts with kids is FUN! 

The idea of arts and crafts with my kids used to terrify me. I envisioned 20 minutes of mommy prep time for every 5 minutes of kids being busy time followed by 15 minutes of mommy clean up time, scraping Elmer's glue off every surface and glitter out of every orifice. 

Several months ago, I noticed my daughters loved coloring with crayons. So, I threw watercolors in the mix and taught them how to set up painting all by themselves. They loved it. So, I gave them scissors. Then, scotch tape. They now spend at least an hour a day cutting, coloring, painting, and taping. And the best part is, I don't have to do much! They set up their projects by themselves and clean up mostly by themselves. I just have to keep the supplies in a handy drawer. And the final products are amazing, entertaining, and adorable. Or sometimes gross. Here's "poop with dragon fruit seeds in it" done with watercolors.

My 4-yr-old and I have the same hair.

How to cloth diaper the Thai way.

We (mostly) used cloth diapers on our daughters when we were living the U.S. We found them easy enough to use and we loved the cost savings and the planet earth savings. With another baby on the way, a washing machine that only does tepid water, and no clothes dryer, I thought we might have to switch to 100% disposable diapering with the new baby. Boo!

Then, at our girls' preschool, I noticed a mom had her baby in cloth diapers. I began asking her all about them and she taught me how to cloth diaper the Thai way using one large, thin, square cloth folded up. I plan to try to use our old, cloth diapers from the U.S., but if they just don't come clean here, it's good to know the tried and true Thai method.

I can buy fried cocoons and fried crickets at my local market and my friends tell me they taste good. 

But, I think I will stick with the grilled fish, tropical fruits, pad thai, fried chicken, etc. Thank you.

The green pastures of Psalm 23 do not refer to lush meadows but to arid hills

And the sheep need the shepherd to lead them from tuft to tuft of grass so that they have enough to eat. This imagery of constant reliance on God fits the realities of my life so much better than the imagery of resting in a green buffet. This video is such a good watch.

Heat + humidity + pregnancy = exhaustion 

I don't remember feeling this worn out either previous pregnancy. As my pregnancy progresses, I set our AC lower and lower to give myself the energy boost I need.

Finding a Thai name for our son is hard.

We've had our son's first name chosen since June, but really we've liked the name since I was pregnant with our first kid five years ago! As for the middle name, we wanted to give our son a Thai middle name to celebrate his 1/4 Thai heritage, his upcoming birth in Thailand, and the fact that he will likely spend a lot or all of his childhood here. But, most names sounded a bit too strange to an English speaker's ear or had strange meanings. 

Last week, we sat down to talk about his middle name and within just 15 minutes, we stumbled upon a name we love. We'll let you know what it is when he arrives!

Unplug

"I am noticing that the more I fill my life with the convenience of technology, the emptier I become in the places of my deepest longing.

"I long for the beauty and substance of being in the presence of those I love, even though it is less convenient. 

"I long for spacious, thoughtful conversation even though it is less efficient. I long to be connected with my authentic self, even though it means being inaccessible to others at times.

"I long to be one who waits and listens deeply for the still, small voice of God, even if it means I must unplug from technology in order to become quiet enough to hear." 

~ Ruth Haley Barton "Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation"


I'm always learning and re-learning this one. You too?

May God form us into people who are strangely forgetful of our devices and who are present to our spouses, our children, our friends, our work, our passions & longings, and the still small voice of God.

Amen.

Celebrating Small Victories

"I worked so hard today, I got nothing done, and I am so tired."

This was the constant complaint out of my mouth for the first half of 2016 as we adjusted to life in a new country. In California, we operated fluently in the language, culture, and everyday life. When we moved, we stripped away most of our competency. In Thailand, everything was (and is) foreign and new. We worked hard those first months to complete the simplest tasks. The systems are different here, so moving required constant learning for several months.

At the end of most days, complaints were on my lips. "Michael, can you believe it took me three hours to get the grocery shopping done? I could do it in a little over an hour back at home with both kids in tow." "Michael, I only got in an hour of Thai study today because Cora wouldn't nap!" "Michael, today I got nothing done."

Enter: the outlook changing practice of acknowledging and celebrating small victories.

After a few months of complaining, we decided to begin talking about all we accomplished rather than all that we didn't get to that day. We would take turns most evenings. One of us would list out for the other all we did and the other acknowledged the hard work that went into each of those victories no matter how small.

Our lists were simple, "Today, I reviewed my Thai tutoring session, learned where to buy the shoes Grace needs for preschool, and called my mom." (Though I must admit, it took at least a month to reach that level of productivity in a single day!)

When we acknowledged the hard work that went into even a small victory, at the end of the day, we felt proud. We felt grateful each evening for the progress we had made in learning to operate in a new language and culture.

Even today, we sometimes feel frustrated and tired at the end of a day or week that appears to be fruitless. So, when we notice our hearts bending toward dissatisfaction and complaint, we stop to acknowledge and celebrate small victories together.

For you, it may not be moving around the globe with little children that has taken away your competency. But, there may be something else that has stolen your ability to produce -- becoming a parent, starting a new job, coping with chronic physical or mental illness, etc. So, I encourage you. When you are able, try listing out your victories, large and small, to a friend or even to yourself. I hope it's a game changer for you too.

Third Kid

We're anticipating the arrival of our third kid in about three months. I've noticed some pretty major differences between pregnancy with the first, second, and third baby. For instance...

Ultrasound pictures

Baby #1 - Newest ultrasound pic is always on the fridge

Baby #2 - Forget the ultrasound pics at the OB's office. Have to go back in to get them. Once home, they eventually go on the fridge... I think.

Baby #3 - Ultrasound printout turns into scratch paper for big sisters' butterfly project.

Naming the Baby

Baby #1 - Start talking about names well before you know the gender. It takes months, lists, perhaps even an excel spreadsheet and a couple arguments.

Baby #2 - Realize your baby grows into whatever name you give it, so just choose something you both like. Decision relatively painless.

Baby #3 - Don't even mention names until you know the gender. When you find out the gender (boy!), choose the baby's name in one 20-minute sitting.

Levels of Tiredness

Baby #1 - Tired.

Baby #2 - Tireder.

Baby #3 - I'm gonna die.

Baby Moon

Baby #1 - Baby moon spent at a B&B in a quaint, artsy little town on California's central coast having long conversations over lattes, touring a mansion, and taking lots of pictures.

Baby #2 - Grandparents watch baby #1 and we get away for one night at a local hotel, sleep until 10am (!), eat an enormous breakfast buffet, and take one terrible selfie. Decide two days before going to call it an anniversary getaway and a baby moon.

Baby #3 - Grandparents thousands of miles away. Take the whole family to an inexpensive, family friendly beach "resort." It will feel like vacation because we will not have to do laundry, cook, do dishes, or clean. Amen.

Baby registry

Baby #1 - Baby registry takes many long hours to complete. Advice from the internet and other moms is absolutely bewildering.

Baby #2 & #3 - Feel confident about what your needs and wants. Preparing for the baby is almost stress-free. Yes!

There are some strong similarities between all three pregnancies, too.

Worry

Baby #1, #2, and #3 - Worry but try not to worry about miscarriage the entire first trimester. During the second and third trimester, start to worry whenever you don't feel the baby kick for a couple of hours. Breathe a sigh of relief as you pass important viability milestones... 28 weeks (sigh), 32 weeks (sigh), 37 weeks (full term!).

Anticipation

Baby #1, #2, and #3 - The anticipation for and the love for each child is the same. We marvel at how each kid steals your entire heart, but then when another kid comes, your heart grows and the next kid completely steals it as well! We are so looking forward to October when we get to see our little boy's face and hold him in our arms and be enraptured once again by a tiny human who does nothing but poop, cry, nurse, and sleep.

Grandparents Visit

I'm really close to my parents and they live 8,400 miles away (really, Google? That far?!) so there's almost nothing more magical and more special than when they come for a visit.

My dad was given a three month sabbatical from work. He spent the very first day of his sabbatical watching my nephew's adoption at the courthouse, going to the subsequent adoption party celebrating both my niece and nephew, and then hopping on an airplane with my mom that evening to fly to Thailand. Can you tell he loves his grandkids?

They headed back to Colorado almost a week ago, and I finally looked through my pictures tonight. May these memories carry us through to the next time we see them... we don't know yet when that will be.

~

Cora hadn't seen this set of grandparents since October, but she clearly settled right back into her granddaughter role.

Grace sliding down a water slide into Nana's arms at a waterpark on the roof of a Bangkok mall.

Precious.

Cora would have been terrified if she wasn't in Papa's arms.

The new school year began two days before my parents left, so they got to send off our little preschoolers. But, you'd better believe we kept our kids home the next day, the last day their grandparents were in country.

Writing to Share - Final Thoughts

Over the past couple of years, I've written more and more in my private journals and shared less and less here on my blog. At the end of March, I decided to post ten times in the month of April instead of just once or twice. I didn't know what would happen, but I knew I felt inspired and excited by it.

I enjoyed the challenge, but I also found that I have to let my words compost. I dump the apple cores, carrot peels, hacked off vines of my words into the compost pile of my journals. Turn them over. Wait. Let the sun heat them and the rain wet them and the insects crawl and eat and defecate all over them.

Then, when the organic matter has morphed into rich, rich soil, I finally share those words. And, by grace, I get to watch shoots spring out of those words. And to see already established trees and plants enjoy the nourishment of rich soil.

I cannot produce "content" quickly or it is just silty dust hastily shoveled up and scattered out to plants with little nourishing power.

My words must be chewed, mulled over, sifted, played with, enjoyed. Then, shared.

So, over the next few months, I'll be going back to posting as ready. And when that little baby comes in October, who knows what will happen! All I know is that everything will change.

Here are my ten posts written (mostly) in April:

Writing to Share - An intro to my writing challenge

Kids One Year Ago and Today - Some thoughts on my kids' adjustment process from moving from California to Bangkok, Thailand

I've Never Read the Whole Bible and That's OK

Conversation Between a Toddler and a Preschooler

How to Wash Your Clothes When You're New to Thailand - Remembering those nutty first weeks of our international move.

14 Thoughts at 14 Weeks - A few lighthearted thoughts on my third pregnancy.

Tropical Birds - A homage to the birds outside my bathroom window.

A Monday in My Life - No two days and no two weeks are the same, but here's one recent Monday in my life.

Currently Loving - Four things I'm enjoying from a fun app to my kids' school pictures to a couple of great books.

And this post makes 10!

Thanks for following along! I don't think I'd do this without readers... you!

Currently Loving...

These days, I'm currently loving...

FaceApp

Get it on your phone, take some selfies with friends, and run them through the filter. You will laugh so hard! Here are my husband's results - normal, woman, 30 years older, and with a smile pasted on. The old Michael kills me! So so so weird.

My kids' school pictures

At the start of every school term, we walk our girls to the local photo shop owned by a Chinese-Thai man. The shop is old and dark and smells strongly of incense. Piles of paper and supplies cover every surface and there are idols and amulets everywhere along with two of the oldest most yellowed photo printers I've ever seen. He ushers us into the dark, back corner of the shop to take their mug shots school pictures. Their faces clearly show how they feel about the whole thing!

I put these photos through FaceApp. The app must be made just for adult faces because the results were - yikes.

The Chief Inspector Gamache series by Louise Penny

I got my hands on my second Gamache murder mystery novel (#4 in the series). I'm enjoying it so much just like I enjoyed the first. I love the author's descriptive writing and the way she builds suspense.

Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes by Kenneth Bailey

The author has lived in the Middle East almost all his life. He takes well-known stories from the four gospel accounts of Jesus' life, teachings, and miracles and explains them through Middle Eastern culture/worldview. The chapter on Jesus' birth (spoiler: he probably was born in a home, not a stable or a cave) and the entire section on interactions with women (spoiler: he's radical, awkward, and empowering) are two highlights. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to do a deeper study of the gospels with culture at the forefront.

A Monday in My Life

Every week and every day is different, but here is one Monday in my life...

6:30

Wake up and try to go back to sleep. But can't. Zone out on my phone for a few minutes before getting out of bed.

7:00

Appear downstairs where my whole family is just starting breakfast and find out that Michael feels pretty sick. The girls were sick last week, I got it a couple days ago, and now Michael has it.

During breakfast, we call my brother-in-law to wish him a belated happy birthday. With the 12 hour time difference, we have very limited windows where our girls and family in the US are all awake, so when Jason and Andrea don't pick up, we just take a video of us singing Happy Birthday and send that instead.

8:00

Michael drops the girls off at The Well's daycare program. We're in the long, hot season school break right now and our nonprofit org runs a daycare so women enrolled in their program or employed by The Well can continue working. Our kids go about three mornings a week. Great Thai language immersion!

While Michael drops them off, I head to the pool to swim laps for 15 minutes, shower at home, see a missed call from Jason and Andrea, so I call them back and we squeeze in a little catch up right before their evening church small group starts up.

9:00 

Find out Michael has decided to try to push back our Thai lesson to later in the week because he just doesn't feel good. Fine with me because I haven't prepared for our lesson yet. 

I clean up breakfast dishes and then go run errands around my neighborhood which always entails a lot of walking and sweating. I pay the fees for the new school year starting in May, stop by work to schedule a meeting with a woman who I'm doing a project with, buy a bunch of bananas from a street vendor, and run into a friend and chat for a few minutes.

10:00

Return home. Check some emails. I feel so tired from running errands in the heat, I prepare a large snack / small lunch before I head out to pick up the girls.

11:00

Pick up the girls from daycare. Both of them are cranky from heat, hunger, and tiredness. One of them is really disobedient too. I pile them into the single BOB stroller, big girl in the normal spot, little girl sitting on the footrest. They whine off and on the whoooooole way home. We pick up Thai style grilled chicken and sticky rice for lunch. When we get home we eat it with the bananas I picked up earlier.

12:00

Down for naps! Well, Cora sleeps, Grace plays alone in our room for a little over an hour. I sit down and detox from my kids' whiny-ness. Then, review some Thai.

This afternoon, Michael is watching the girls. We do lots of trading back and forth of who's working and who's "on the girls." My work hours come out to about 18+ and his to about 22+. Altogether, we work 40+ hours per week.

1:00 

I overworked last week, so I decide to use my afternoon to try out a new, "expensive" hair salon recommended by my American friend, Judy. In the chaos of the past 18 months, I've only gotten my hair cut once and I desperately need many inches chopped off. I get a little lost on the way there, but eventually find it. I get my hair washed (including a head massage), cut, and styled. And I love the final result! I think I've finally found my Bangkok hair salon! Makes my life here feel even more like home. Total cost: not even $9.

2:45

Drive home. The pressure of the seatbelt across my lap makes the baby kick. Hi there, little one! I see a plant store with gorgeous potted flowers I've been eyeing since we moved here. I stop and look at them. Standing in the sun in 100 degree heat is making my brain fuzzy, so I decide not to buy this time, then head the rest of the way home.

3:00 

Get in some good work time preparing for my next Thai lesson and then sending off an email to prayer supporters.

5:00 

The girls watch Daniel Tiger on PBS while Michael and I cook an extra yummy meal - homemade hamburger patties with sauteed onions and white wine sauce, snap pea and cherry tomato salad with oil and vinegar dressing, boiled potatoes, and a "banana milkshake" (aka spinach, bananas, and milk blended for the girls).

6:00 

Michael cleans up from dinner (a big job with all the cooking and no dishwasher!) and I bathe the girls who are 100% sweet, cute, and playful.

7:00 

I see the tiredness in Grace's eyes (remember how whiney she was earlier and how she didn't nap?) so I put them to bed early. We clean up a bit more and then watch the most recent episode of TLC's Nate and Jeremiah by Design featuring our friends and former pastors Janelle & Allen! We have trouble with our internet being slow and our VPN not working great, so it takes well over an hour to watch the 45 minute show, but it is so worth it!

9:00

Get all ready for bed and then start a Chief Inspector Gamache mystery novel that I just downloaded to Kindle yesterday. Such a fun series!

10:15

Asleep.

Tropical Birds

Allow me to pay homage to the tropical birds outside my open bathroom window.

I rarely see them, but when I do, they are small, yet all day their piercing songs slice the humid air forcing all to hear regardless of whether or not they are listening.

They come and go finding food, where? Finding water, where? Finding shelter, where? All the while singing, squawking, screaming their praises. There is nothing I do that lures them and nothing I do that scares them away.

I often stop mid-morning or mid-evening to just listen.

Our bathroom window opens up on an overgrown, empty lot. Just beyond the lot is this alley. Hidden in those branches and sitting on the wires are all kinds of tropical birds.