Finite

I am limited. I am finite.

When I look at my home, my marriage, and my kids and then look at my two hands and two feet, my intellect, emotional reserves, and the clock ticking on the wall, I feel so limited. The needs within my home and my family are often bigger than my resources.

How much more so when I look at the needs of my city, Bangkok, my countries, the US and Thailand, and this big, beautiful, broken world? I turn and look at myself and recognize that, without a doubt, I am limited. I am finite.

Into this space, come these two nuggets of wisdom, and I know the Infinite One is whispering Truth to me that swallows up the truth of my finite-ness.


"Our personal life is a finite thing: it is limited in every direction, in space, in time, in knowledge, in power. But God is not so limited. He is eternal, infinite, and almighty."


"It helps now and then to step back and take the long view.

The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work…

…We cannot do everything and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.

We are workers, not master builders
Ministers not messiahs
We are prophets of a future not our own."

I pray that we would acknowledge our limits and allow them to be enveloped in the limitlessness of God. May we listen carefully to discern what God is inviting us to do, and what he is not inviting us to do. And may we do it well, trusting God to carry it to completion.

(Quotes from J.I.Packer "Knowing God" and from Archbishop Oscar Romero who was martyred for his human rights advocacy)

Pollution, the Wealthy, and the Poor

Schools in Bangkok were closed yesterday and today because of… pollution. For many weeks, the air in our city has been filled with a nasty particle called PM 2.5. If the PM 2.5 levels are under 100, most people are fine. Bangkok has consistently been over 100 and has even crept up toward 200. Our air is dirty, unhealthy, and downright dangerous.

Source: NationMultimedia.com

Over these weeks I have been struck by the difference between how people who are materially wealthy are able to manage the pollution, rarely breathing bad air, while the materially poor are breathing it all the time.

Just compare our family (we are most certainly wealthy here!) to the average family in Bangkok.

All day and all night, we keep our windows shut tight to keep out the pollution. We run fans and A/C to keep comfy and cool. We have two home air purifiers headed our way in the mail. When the purifiers are up and running, our home will be practically pollution free all day and all night.

A/C units and air purifiers are beyond most Thai family's budgets, so they must either shut the windows tight and sweat (it's HOT here) or fling them open to let in "fresh" air.

I tow my kids around in a car with, again, windows shut tight and A/C running.

Most families in Bangkok get around using a combo of motorcycles, buses (often no A/C, windows wide open), and song teews (pickup trucks rigged up with two benches in the back and a roof to block the sun and rain). As they go around, they breathe the air.

My daughters go to an upper-class, private Thai preschool/kinder that has closed classrooms and A/C units. The school has canceled all outdoor activities and they keep the classroom doors shut tight.

Most Thai schools, public and private, including the school my girls used to go to, are wide open to outside air. As kids learn, they breathe very polluted air.

When working, we are indoors in our home office upstairs or out meeting with people in closed, air conditioned rooms, offices, and coffee shops. We own one car, so Michael has switched from taking buses and song teews to taking taxis wherever he goes. A taxi ride costs 10-20 times as much, but for the health of our bodies, we can afford it.

Many people in Bangkok work outdoors sweeping the streets, working construction, selling flowers at intersections, selling food and other goods at the outdoor market. Even people who work indoors often have to get to and from work on public transportation that is open to the air.

Our family is a typical picture of many foreign families and wealthier Thai families living in Bangkok - we are able to put up a fortress against unhealthy levels of pollution due to our ability to buy and maintain expensive things like A/C units, air purifiers, a car, taxi rides as needed, and private school tuition for the kids.

The average family simply cannot protect themselves from the pollution.

So, as I build up my fortress against PM 2.5, I find myself praying to God for rain and wind. I pray for our leaders to pinpoint the biggest sources of the pollution and to find solutions. I pray that we would all be willing to cooperate with the solutions. I pray these prayers for myself and my family, so we can stop hiding in our fortress and get outside and play, but I pray these prayers more so for the majority of people who are breathing toxic air day in and day out.