Christmas

As Christmas rolls around once again, two things hold me in wide-eyed marvel at the incarnation.

First, these words:

Man’s maker was made man,

that He, Ruler of the stars, might nurse at His mother’s breast;

that the Bread might hunger,

the Fountain thirst,

the Light sleep,

the Way be tired on its journey;

that the Truth might be accused of false witness,

the Teacher be beaten with whips,

the Foundation be suspended on wood;

that Strength might grow weak;

that the Healer might be wounded;

that Life might die.

– St. Augustine

Second, being around baby. The other day, I propped Cora up on a pillow to sit and then wandered off to give Grace a snack. A couple of minutes later, I heard a little cry and realized that Cora had toppled sideways, had ended up face down on the carpet, and was getting tired of holding her head up. All she could do was let out a cry in hopes that I would come to her rescue.

God once made himself that needy.

Restoration for the Weary Mom of Two Under Two

Parenting is awesome, but it is tiring. My head and shoulders, knees and toes, eyes and ears and mouth and nose are weary. I am counting down the days until my sweet baby starts waking up only once a night and develops some sort of moderately predictable eating and sleeping schedule during the day. Too bad I have no idea how many weeks to count down! 

In the meantime, I have found a few activities that restore me. So, if you ever find yourself the mom of two under two years of age, try any of the following. I've done them all at least once in the past couple of weeks.

Take a shower.

Brush your teeth and brush your hair.

Lie in a grassy field in the sun.

Go for a long walk.

Eat M&Ms.

Take a nap.

Get a back scratch from your husband.

Cry.

Pick up a couple of new clothing items that flatter your not quite back to normal body.

Read a few pages of a good book.

Do your hair.

Do your hair and put on some makeup.

Get your toddler belly laughing.

Write. In a journal, on your computer, on your blog, on a napkin. Whatever. Just process.

Tell other parents how exhausted you are. You should get nothing but sympathy.

Tell God how exhausted you are. You will get nothing but sympathy.

Snuggle your sleeping baby, memorize her smell, feel her little breaths, and remember that this won't last for long.

Cora - Two Months Old

Well, people, we've got a two month old in the house!

Cora is sweet and mellow and growing like a weed. Babies are supposed to double their birth weight in six months. My nursing champion is on track to double hers before she's three months old. She is also surprisingly strong. She can hold her head steady while upright and she can bear most of her weight on her legs.

Cora's favorite things so far include...

• Soaking in the world with her gigantic, alert eyes. She especially likes cooing at and staring at Michael.
• Eating. She does it all day long and twice most nights. I was relieved to find out how much weight she's gaining. All the nursing is paying off!
• Spitting up. I remember Grace spitting up pretty profusely, but I feel like Cora might one up her on that front - before feedings, during feedings, after feedings, chunky, dribbly, projectile... she's mastered it all.
• Smashing her face into something to fall asleep. During the third trimester, the ultrasound tech couldn't get a good picture of Cora's face because it was buried into the wall of my uterus. Now that she's out of the womb, she still likes to bury her face into my arm, my chest, the side of her swing, or anything else that's not SIDS-proof to fall asleep.

When Cora was born, Grace pronounced Cora's name "Caca" which means "poop" in Spanish. Now she calls her "Caya" which means "trash" in Thai. Despite these awful names, she has adjusted surprisingly well to being a big sister. She very sweetly tries to share her sippy cups and toys with caca/caya and she kisses her before going to bed. It's been awesome to watch their budding sibling relationship.

Each child is an incredible, precious gift. We are so grateful to have Cora in our family. I'm really looking forward to uncovering more of who she is over the upcoming months!

Things I Learned in October

It's fall!

Here are a few things I learned this past month...

There are gobs of good books available on Amazon for Kindle for FREE! Most of these books are classics, which is perfect because I usually prefer a book that has stood the test of time over a current bestseller. I'm going to be working through this list for years.

The book, Les Misérables, is not only readable, it is excellent. Ever since watching the movie almost two years ago, I've been wanting to read Les Mis, but I've been intimidated by its massive size. Since it's free for Kindle, I dove in a week ago and I'm hooked.

My husband enjoys classic books too. When he saw the list of free ebooks, he asked if I recommended any. I told him that The Strange Case of Jekyll and Hyde was an addicting read. He read it, loved it, and moved onto another one of Robert Louis Stevenson's most famous novels, Treaure Island. He says it's even better than Jekyll and Hyde. I have book envy.

If you take a branch off of a tomato plant, stick it in the ground, and water it, you can grow a whole new tomato plant. Here's Grace with the new plant.

Sleep deprivation is just as hard the second time around. Sleep dep reveals the worst in me - I get cranky and emotional and I can't deal with anything. My sleep dep reveals the best in Michael - he is patient and gracious and ever-loving. Where did I find him?!

Going for a walk is an almost acceptable alternative to caffeine. I normally have a cup of hot, black tea every morning. While nursing Grace, I noticed no difference in her napping habits based off of my caffeine consumption, so I kept up my habit. With Cora, a simple cup of tea can mess up her napping for hours, so I've reluctantly given it up. In giving up caffeine, I've found that a thirty minute walk can perk me up almost as well. Though you can be sure that when I'm done nursing, the first thing I will do is drink a cup of tea.

While words tell me, art moves me. Over the past weeks, I've come across multiple forms of art on the theme of being welcomed by God despite my mess. I've been a follower of Jesus for over two decades, so it is a very familiar message, but I feel the art speaking to me in deeper ways than I've ever felt this message conveyed. Thank God for poetry, paintings, parables, artful prose, and literature. 

The poem is George Herbert's Love (III).
The artful prose is Nouwen's The Return of the Prodigal Son writing about Rembrandt's painting by the same name, both based off of Jesus' parable of the prodigal son.
The literature is Les Misérables, specifically the scene involving the Bishop and his silver.

Toddler in the House

Before having my own kids, the toddler stage puzzled me. I had no idea how to interact with those little people. Now that Grace is a toddler, I'm still puzzled and at times have no idea how to interact with my little person, but I'm leaning to love it. How could I not?

Playing in the garden.

Dirty bottom.

A conversation through the open window with our elderly neighbor.

Helping Daddy bring in the trash barrels.

See that face? She admires him so much.

Playing with glow sticks in the bathtub.

Naked Jedi running naked through the hallway, light saber in hand.

Wearing Daddy's shoes on her arms.

Wearing her sunglasses(ish).

Wearing her socks on her hands.

And she'll still sometimes snuggle like a baby.

Cora's Birth

Cora was born on September 8th at 10:42 A.M. She was 19.5 inches long and weighed just 6 lbs 2 oz. Here is the story of her birth.

A little background: Grace came two weeks early and in a little over two hours. Since second babies tend to come even faster, we had people on call to rush over at a moment's notice to babysit Grace so we could get to the hospital. My main goal was to not give birth on our kitchen floor. I also decided to go for a natural childbirth again, though after experiencing the incredible pain of delivering Grace, I was totally open to getting the epidural if I needed it.

The night before Cora was born, almost two weeks before her due date, I felt some contractions, but fell asleep. In the middle of the night, more painful contractions woke me up. They were pretty regular, so we decided to play it safe, had my friend Sarah come over, and we went to the hospital. They began monitoring me, the contractions slowed down, and an internal check told me that I was still just 1 cm dilated as I had been for over a week. We went home, sent Sarah home, and went back to sleep.

At 6:45 I woke up to painful contractions again, so we went to the hospital again around 8:30. My friend Claire met us there to take Grace. I was feeling very discouraged because my contractions were very painful, but I figured I was probably still barely progressing. I was so relieved to find out I was 8cm dilated. I knew I could do it without the epidural again.

I spent the next hour in active labor. Cora was head down, but facing my stomach instead of my spine, so all of the pain was in my back. With every contraction, Michael pressed his full weight and strength into my lower back as I whimpered and moaned. He later told me he was shaking from the exertion!

A little before 10:30, my body started pushing, and my nurse wheeled me into the delivery room. That's when the real battle began. I lay on my left side with Michael holding my right leg. I fought the urge to push with all my might (an impossible task) so that my body could slowly stretch rather than tear. After about fifteen minutes of pushing, Michael excitedly told me he could see her head and that it was full of black hair. My doctor broke my water (how was it intact so long?!) and Cora's head and body slid out with just one push. She lay quiet for a few moments and then started wailing - the most beautiful and relieving sound! Within a few minutes, they placed my prize on my chest for those wonderful first snuggles.

Many mothers talk about being bowled over by maternal love the moment they see their children born. I didn't experience that with either birth. For me, my maternal love took a backseat and instead, I was flooded with relief to be done and wonder, amazement, and awe that that tiny, crying girl was Cora and that she was mine.

Things I Learned in September

Pineapple skin and mango skin are edible. According to this article. I also now feel validated in my consumption of kiwi skins. Yum!

You can buy rambutan in California, but a single fruit costs as much as an entire kilo in Thailand. I wonder, can you eat these hairy, prickly skins?

When strangers share their opinion about how easy or hard a stage of parenting was, to not take their opinions too seriously. Over the summer, when strangers at the park and at grocery stores saw how pregnant I was and how young Grace was, several comments ran something like this: "18 months apart?! Poor thing, you will not sleep or have a life." I forgot that every kid and combo of kids is different, so you can't take these opinions too seriously. Right now, we're doing really well. I'm sure we'll hit other stages in this raising small children gig that other parents found easy but we will find very difficult. The point is to not project others' experiences onto your own kids.

Four years. That's how long it takes me to build community. Four years ago, we made a forty mile move - just far enough to have to start all over. I felt lonely for the first couple of years and it was hard. Cora's birth opened my eyes to how many friends we've made over the last years. So many people have helped in so many ways. I certainly don't feel lonely anymore!

If you want to suck the joy out of caring for a newborn, be a control freak. I have a type-A personality. With Grace, it took me a couple of months to really learn to let go. With Cora's arrival, I've found myself slipping back into control freak mode. This past week, I have stopped trying to plan ahead and I am embracing the unpredictability of caring for a newborn. It's good for my soul.